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Gay brother of Mormon apostle shares his journey and a message of love in new book

4,808 views · Published 22 October 2017 · 12:50 · Indexed 10 November 2026

Channel: East Idaho News · 2017 · News & Politics

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SALT LAKE CITY — Tom Christofferson was enjoying a night at the symphony when his brother, Elder D. Todd Christofferson, called.

It was November 2015 and just 24 hours earlier, word had leaked that leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints were introducing a new policy that Mormons in same-sex marriages were considered apostates. The policy also included a provision that children of gay couples could not be baptized until they turned 18.

Tom is gay and his brother, Todd, is a member of one of the church’s top governing bodies — the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.

“I stepped out at intermission and called him back,” Tom recalls. “He told me he had just recorded an interview with Mike Otterson, who was head of public affairs for the LDS church, to provide information about the policy. Knowing that many people I loved would be quite hurt with this policy, he said, ‘If you feel the need to distance yourself from me because of this, I will certainly understand.’”

Tom responded, “It can’t have been easy for you to have a gay brother who is pretty public. You have never distanced yourself from me and I have no intention of putting any distance between us either.”

Since that night, Tom has reflected on how the LDS Church and its members deal with homosexual members and LGBT issues.

In a new book titled ‘That We May Be One,’ published by church-owned Deseret Book, he shares his journey of being raised Mormon, leaving the church for 25 years, entering into a long-term relationship with a man he loved and then returning to his faith.

COMING OUT

At 19, Tom served a two-year Mormon mission, returned and married a young woman in an LDS temple. The marriage was annulled, and he broke the news to his parents that he was gay.

The now 60-year-old remembers that he “couldn’t figure out how to be gay and Mormon so I decided to be gay and happy.”

Tom was excommunicated from the LDS Church in 1985. His parents and brothers were active members and they decided that rather than shunning Tom, they would embrace him.

“My parents sought guidance through prayer how best to lead our family through the process,” Tom tells EastIdahoNews.com. “They received an answer and that was to be totally inclusive.”

Tom eventually fell in love with a doctor he met in San Francisco.

Over the years, he and his partner were welcome at every family activity. They spent the night at their parent’s home and family members would attend events at Tom’s house.

“It was a great way to approach it because it meant there are no barriers. We could be fully engaged with each other,” Tom says.

Go to EastIdahoNews.com for the rest of the story.

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