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*SENSITIVE MATERIAL* My Struggle w/ Social Anxiety and the Doll World (EMOTIONAL VIDEO)

3,812 views · Published 23 October 2017 · 13:03 · Indexed 8 November 2026

Channel: Jackie Ortiz · 2017 · Entertainment

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This is an extremely sensitive subject for me and for those that struggle with SOCIAL ANXIETY. I deal and fight with this mental disorder every day of my life. I have realize that, after being 7 years in the reborn world and providing my services to doll collectors, my mental disorder is catching up to me and damaging what I have built for myself. 

Putting it plain and simple - I am scared to open messages.I am AFRAID of reading what people have to say to me. I am afraid of replying. 

Even if I know what people are going to say to me - I AM STILL AFRAID TO OPEN THE MESSAGE AND REPLY! You might think this disappears when family messages me or calls me. NO! It is the same! I do not reply and I do not answer their calls. I AM JUST SCARED!

I know! This makes absolutely no sense. I AM AWARE OF THIS 24/7! I KNOW THAT MY FEAR IS IRRATIONAL! And trust me, when I overcome my fear and actually open a message and reply to people, all I can think of is "why the heck was I so scared? It wasn't bad at all. I read the message, replied, and moved on. In fact, I feel good that I replied!" But, I just cannot seem to keep this kind of mentality. I'll get another message and I'll just be scared ALL OVER AGAIN!

Anyway, the reason I am opening up about this is because my fear is obvious to the reborn world, but people do not know the truth. They do not know it is a fear- a REAL MENTAL DISORDER. They think I am being rude because I do not reply OR that I am too good to reply to them. They think I am scamming them because I have their doll, their payment, and have not said a word back.

The truth is - I am one of the most trustworthy persons in the reborn world. I am what you see online. I am not a fake. I am as honest as I can be. I have your doll and you will get your doll back. I am sorry that I SUCK at replying back at your messages, but I am truly scared of opening them. You are not a scary person. You are nice, sweet, and that is why I decided to work with you. I am just (FOR SOME STRANGE REASON) afraid to read what you have to say to me. I do not know why. I am just scared. But trust me, I am working on opening your message every second of the day. As I work on your doll, I am thinking to myself "just open the message and see what they want. You know all they want to know is how things are going. What is so hard about that?" But of course, I do not do this. And, that makes you so mad at me. You are probably thinking I am rude, I have AWFUL CUSTOMER SERVICE....and, you have probably grown to dislike me. The truth is, it is none of the above. I am simply struggling with something that I have absolutely no control over. I struggle with it every day. It has kept me from having long-lasting friendships. And, it is probably the reason why after having a double-major degree, I am not doing anything with it. I am scared to go out and pursue my career. 

I have opened up to you guys in a way I have never done online. I hope I do not discourage you from continuing to be part of my life. I have gotten this far because of you guys. And now, I need you guys more than ever...

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