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"Have to" versus "Choose to" - Dr. Kim D'Eramo

149 views · Published 19 September 2016 · 2:27 · Indexed 4 November 2026

Channel: Dr. Kim D'Eramo · 2016 · People & Blogs

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www.DrKimDeramo.com

Hey, everybody. It's Dr. Kim D'Eramo, from the American Institute of Mind-Body Medicine.

We had a really powerful point come up yesterday in one of my online group calls, in Radical Health Coaching. There was a woman who was really struggling, and suffering, and having a lot of pain, depression, exhaustion, and things coming up around what she thought she had to do for everyone else. It really boiled down to, she thought she really had to do these things, and didn't have a choice. "I have to make my kids' lunch. I have to get them to school. I have to take care of my family. I have to clean my house." She's been living like she's a victim to all of these things, not in the freedom of, "I choose to do these things."

I wanted to make this point that I made with her yesterday, that we all really are in charge of making one person happy, and taking care of and meeting the needs of one person. That person is you. Yes, even if you're a parent. Of course you want to take care of your kids, but you want to do it because it makes you feel whole. It makes you feel secure. It makes you have a better day knowing that you did those things. If there are any of those things that are taking away from you, I guarantee your kids are going to feel it. If you had cancer, and you were sick, and you knew that taking that extra time to do something for someone else was going to take away from your health, you would give yourself a break. Then, we don't give ourselves that same break if it's just something that brings us more ease. It's almost like we have to exhaust ourselves before we allow ourselves to have a break.

I want you to remember that if you are going to choose to do things for other people, you want to know you are choosing to do that. You do not have to do that. Honor yourself first, because I guarantee that your kids, your family, other people around you are all going to lose out when the one person that you're meant to take care of is not getting their needs met.

Share your comments on this, and be sure you subscribe at DrKimD.com if you'd like more in mind-body medicine. I've seen this change the whole game, because when you register, "I have to do this thing. I have to do this thing," it puts you in a victim mentality. "I choose to take care of these people, even though I'm tired, because I know I'm going to feel better about it if I do." That's a more empowered choice. If you don't want to make it, make a different choice.

Sharing my love with you, and I'll see you soon.

MINDYOURBODY. DRKIMDERAMO.

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