Look Who it Was Random video

Are You All the Way In? | Carolyn Billings | 2017

4,343 views · Published 27 October 2017 · 21:43 · Indexed 14 October 2026

Channel: BYU Speeches · 2017 · Education

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Carolyn Billings shares how she has learned to trust in the Lord's wisdom and love, even—or especially—when the raging tempests of life are overwhelming.

This speech was given on October 17, 2017.

Read the speech here:
https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/carolyn-billings/way-trust-lord-raging-tempests/

Read more about Carolyn Billings here:
https://speeches.byu.edu/speakers/carolyn-billings/

Read more on overcoming adversity here:
https://speeches.byu.edu/collections/overcoming-adversity/

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"I remember being a student at this ­university. I came from a great home and was raised by incredible parents who shared their ­testimonies through word and deed. I felt confident as I entered BYU that I had a solid footing in the Church. However, it was during my college life that I started to experience small struggles that began to test my testimony and my commitment to our Savior.

It started with having to make my own ­decisions to go to church, say my prayers, and read my scriptures. And then came the self-doubt, the struggle of suddenly being average, the loneliness, and the experience of my first C grade being thrown at me. Next came the curveball of dating and breaking up combined with a “small” amount of pressure to get married, all while I was ­living with roommates who did not do the dishes and also while no one was liking my Instagram posts—well, at least back then I didn’t have to worry about Instagram or Facebook.

It was at a particularly low moment in college that I came across the hymn “Master, the Tempest Is Raging” (Hymns, 2002, no. 105). The second verse described perfectly how I was feeling at that moment:

Master, with anguish of spirit
I bow in my grief today.
The depths of my sad heart are troubled.
Oh, waken and save, I pray!

Torrents of sin and of anguish
Sweep o’er my sinking soul,
And I perish! I perish! dear Master.
Oh, hasten and take control!

However, it is the question in the first verse—“Carest thou not that we perish?”—that continues to come to the surface when I am struggling.

I am sure that many of you who are here today feel troubled and distressed; maybe you are in a moment similar to what I was in and you feel that your ship is going to capsize or sink. To those whose hearts are breaking or who feel that no one is listening; to those who are stressed, worried, or afraid; to those who bear the burdens of sin; and to anyone whose heart is pleading, “Master, carest thou not that I perish?” the answer is yes. Your Savior does care and He does love you. The Savior will always love you, no matter what.

It is the follow-up question in that first verse—“How canst thou lie asleep?”—that took me many years to understand. Then why does He sleep when the tempest rages all around me? Why does He not still this storm, or why would He let me suffer?

During these moments it is easy to think the Savior is oblivious to our trials, when in fact the reverse is true; it is we who need to be awakened. It is we who need to turn and find Him. It is we who need to continue to follow His teachings. And it is we who need to ask, “Am I all the way in?”

I found that when life became challenging, my first reaction was to turn away from my Savior. I would abandon the foundational habits of prayer, scripture study, and hope. That reaction was a choice; it was a choice that I made. The Savior didn’t abandon me; instead, I turned from the Savior because I wasn’t all the way in.

Often my students and athletes will sit in my office and discuss their problems or struggles. They will ask, “Why me? I am trying to be good! I am keeping the commandments. Why is the Lord allowing this to happen?”

No one is exempt from struggles, especially not you who are striving to do what is right. But these trials are not just to test us; they are vitally important to the process of changing who we are.At times it may seem that our trials are focused on areas of our lives with which we seem the least able to cope. Since personal growth is an intended outcome of these challenges, it should come as no surprise that our trials will be very personal.

Now I may be going out on a limb here, but if you are anything like me, then you want to have growth without any challenges and to develop strength without any struggle. Unfortunately, that is not how the process of growth occurs. As much as we desire it, growth cannot come by taking the easy way."
–Carolyn Billings

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