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The Tears Of A Clown - The Mascot Family Role

3,124 views · Published 3 December 2017 · 22:16 · Indexed 28 October 2026

Channel: Mark Smith Family Tree Life Coaching · 2017 · People & Blogs

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Mark Smith discusses the underlying pain and anguish of the seemingly happy, humorous family role of the Mascot.  

• 4th and last in the series

• The youngest son of Jason Robards in ‘Parenthood' – irresponsible, gambler

• Out Of The Storm Blog - The Mascot
“The goal of The Family Mascot is to break the tension and lighten the mood with humor or antics. (S)He is usually “the cute one.” This child feels powerless in the dynamics which are going on in the family and tries to interrupt tension, anger, conflict, violence or other unpleasant situations within the family by being the court jester. The Mascot seeks to be the center of attention in the family, often entertaining the family and making everyone feel better through his or her comedy. They may also use humor to communicate and to confront the family dysfunction, rather than address it directly.  They also use humor to communicate repressed emotions in the family such as anger, grief, hostility or fear. This behavior is lighthearted and hilarious, just what a family twisted in pain needs — but the mascot’s clowning is not repairing the emotional wounds, only providing temporary balm. The rest of the family may actually try to protect their “class clown”. The Mascot is often busy-busy-busy.  They become anxious or depressed when things aren’t in constant motion. The Mascot commonly has difficulty concentrating and focusing in a sustained way on learning, and this makes school or work difficult. (Hence they also referred to as "The Slacker".)  They often have caseloads rather than friendships - and get involved in abusive relationships in an attempt to "save" the other person.  They have very low self-worth and feel a lot of guilt that they work very hard to overcome by being really "nice" (i.e. people pleasing, classically codependent) people.”

• Usually the youngest
• Lots of friends – but their frenetic social activity is a defense
• Anxiety - partly because nobody tells them the truth
• Humor is their drug of choice
• All of the world’s great comedians
• ADHD
• Immature
• Lacking in depth - Socrates noted: “The unexamined life is not worth living”.
• Physical Illnesses
• The Mascot/Clown Child- Randi Fine Blog

The mascot/clown is usually but not always the youngest child in the family. This child takes responsibility for the emotional well-being of the family, but in a very different way than the caretaker does. The mascot assumes the job of social director, constantly kidding and clowning around to divert the family’s attention away from its prevailing pain and anger. She is the one the family counts on to lighten the mood and make them feel better.

It appears by her happy-go-lucky attitude that problems just roll off her back, but her resiliency is only a defense mechanism. The mascot deflects the reality of her tragic circumstances and expresses her pain through comic relief. Masquerading as the cut-up at home and class clown at school, she ambiguously expresses her feelings of powerlessness, sadness, anger, and resentment.
She exemplifies herself as an object of ridicule through self-deprecating humor, ditsy behavior, or foolishness. Representing herself as a caricature of a human being, no one (including herself) takes her seriously.
As adults, proficient at mitigating suffering through humor, many mascots become entertainers. Sadly, they will never enjoy the happiness they give others. After a lifetime of repressing their own pain they are likely to suffer from chronic depression. Never having developed an authentic self they will always struggle with feelings of emptiness and loneliness.
Tears of a Clown
Smokey Robinson & The Miracles

Oh yeah yeah yeah
Now if there's a smile on my face
It's only there trying to fool the public
But when it comes down to fooling you
Now honey that's quite a different subject
But don't let my glad expression
Give you the wrong impression
Really I'm sad, oh I'm sadder than sad
You're gone and I'm hurting so bad
Like a clown I appear to be glad (sad, sad, sad, sad)
Now they're some sad things known to man
But ain't too much sadder than
The tears of a clown when there's no one around
Not being able to get anything done in group therapy

• Under-functioners Married to bitter Over-functioners
• Pot Addiction
• Separation
• Suicides - Robin Williams, Freddie Prince, Richard Jeni
• Drug Overdoses - John Belushi, Chris Farley

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