Look Who it Was Random video

Identity & Beliefs

1,456 views · Published 20 June 2016 · 6:20 · Indexed 30 October 2026

Channel: Damon Cart NLP · 2016 · People & Blogs

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This can get a bit tricky so pay attention.

Robert Dilts distinguishes Identity on a logical level just above beliefs in his Neurological Levels Model. Many people in the field of NLP have pointed to holes in this model and it's inaccuracies. 

Most of these criticisms are correct. However, I still find it a useful model.

Beliefs are generalizations we make about the world, people and ourselves. What we call our self-concept or ego is a belief about our beliefs. It's what we believe about the bundle of generalizations we make reflected back on us.

What you actually are though cannot be a belief nor even a bundle of beliefs. We call it a self-concept because it's conceptual; not real and not tangible in other words.

So what is real about us?

We know that we're here, whatever that means, and that's about it. Everything else is up for question.

Proof that you are not your beliefs is easy to realize when you think about how many times you've changed your beliefs and in some cases even gotten rid of them altogether and yet you still remain.

For example, you may have believed in Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy and hopefully now you do not (hopefully). Though you may still be traumatized from learning the truth, you're still alive.

How can this be useful?

More ways than I have the time and space to elaborate, but I'll give you something you can put into practice right away.

When someone criticizes your beliefs or even attacks them, know that this in no way invalidates you as a person, even if they're correct about their criticisms.

I run into this often when I'm debating politics. People often act insulted when I challenge their beliefs even though I'm not being inappropriate or insulting. Most people so closely identify with their beliefs that they don't separate the two so they respond as if they're being attacked.

Now that you know who you are is different than what you believe, you don't have to feel attacked when someone questions your beliefs.

Also, from this perspective it's much easier to update your beliefs when you come across new information and it's easier to discard beliefs that aren't serving you.

I'm a big 'believer' in questioning my own beliefs. It's not easy but it's a great way to evolve yourself.

People will cling to beliefs because it's uncomfortable to change them especially when people identify strongly with their beliefs. You can put damning evidence to the contrary right in front of them and they'll look the other way as if it's not there. For them it feels like their very being questioned, which is really ridiculous when you think about it.

But we've all done it and now you don't have to do it anymore. Make the distinction between your beliefs and the infinite, indescribable, invaluable being that you are and never let criticisms about your beliefs hurt you ever again.

At the Sleight of Mouth workshop with Doug O'Brien this July 9th and 10th you will learn more about how we construct beliefs and how to change our own and how to use language patterns to change other peoples' beliefs.

Sounds like magic and it is!
http://nlp-gym.com/events/sleight-of-mouth/

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Damon Cart
Coach and Trainer
NLP-Gym.com
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Identity & Beliefs
https://youtu.be/e55KDHXaE8c

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