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How To Use Language To Break Through Limitations

184 views · Published 24 July 2016 · 6:20 · Indexed 21 September 2026

Channel: Damon Cart NLP · 2016 · People & Blogs

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Language is a code to the way you think and the way you map your reality. Alter the coding and you can alter your reality.

Richard Bandler and John Grinder discovered this when they were developing what would later become known as Neuro Linguistic Programing.

The first NLP model is the Meta Model, 12 language patterns you use on a regular basis that could be limiting your options, choices, and your awareness of possibilities and opportunities all around you.

This is a huge subject so I'm going to pick just one pattern for this blog and I'll explore more patterns in future blogs.

One of the most debilitating patterns is the Universal Quantifier. When we say things like "You're never on time.", "I always mess up.", "All women want men with money."

Whether we're referring to other people or ourselves we are limiting our scope of reality with words like All, Never, Always, Every, None, Every, etc.

Very few things in this world are all or nothing, black and white. There are always exceptions or counter examples to every rule and every generalization.

When we take shortcuts by thinking in terms of absolutes and 'either/or' thinking we dull and close our minds to nuance, subtle distinctions, and choices that could free us from our self-imposed limitations.

Listen to yourself, whether it's the voice in your head or the words coming out of your mouth and become aware of this pattern even when you tell yourself you don't mean it. Even if you don't "mean" it applying these words to your experiences trains your mind to think in limitations.

What can you do about this?

Become aware of your language to the point that you pick up this pattern when you use it and when you catch yourself using it, challenge the pattern.

For example, if I catch myself saying something like "Nobody knows what they're doing." I can challenge myself on that by asking if that's absolutely true. Is there not even a single person who knows what they're doing? Of course their is. Now I've just opened myself to a possibility that I would have closed myself to.

This may sound subtle and meaningless but believe me, when you start doing this you're world will open up and you will see choices you never saw before. It's also a great awareness exercise and a great mental exercise for strengthening your brain power.

Notice when other people use this pattern and challenge them on it. Be careful though. You may want to do this gently. Most people aren't used to being challenged this way.

This is a great tool if you're a coach. I've also used it with sales and negotiating and even calling people out when I think they might be trying to deceive me. 

Using the Meta Model is a way of bringing missing and important information back into consciousness that has been generalized, distorted, and deleted.

It's a powerful model and perhaps the most important model in NLP. It is the foundation for all of the NLP models that followed.

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Damon Cart
Coach and Trainer
NLP-Gym.com
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How To Use Language To Break Through Limitationshttps://youtu.be/gFvJfvlhURQ

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