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Living in a Mixed-Orientation and a Mixed-Faith Marriage - Jen Parkinson Pt. 1 | Ep. 754

4,790 views · Published 13 June 2017 · 1:16:39 · Indexed 4 November 2026

Channel: Mormon Stories Podcast · 2017 · Education

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We are excited to release an interview with Jen Parkinson that has many fascinating components, including:

*Her devout LDS upbringing and bout with perfectionism while a youth and as a missionary
*Her first marriage to a gay man, unbeknownst to her
*Experiences with LDS Family Services in addressing her husband’s sexual orientation
*Her resulting divorce and intense feelings of guilt and shame
*The experience of seeking a sealing cancellation and how it made her relive the nightmare of her divorce
*Dating and marrying her current husband
*Working for BYU-Idaho and the gender disparity she observed
*Her husband’s faith transition and her reaction to it by “quintupling down” on her beliefs
*How leaving her job at BYU gave her the freedom to learn and question
*Her own faith transition and hope for the future

Jen Parkinson Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0R8OU3JwQ0&list=PLxq5opj6GqODn4RLxTi2l4LIyF45_DnXJ

00:00 Introduction
05:33 Upbringing in the church. The bishop's kid
09:23 Guilt and shame when a teen. Breaking up with a boy she was dating because they kissed.
11:06 Serving a mission New Jersey - Spanish speaking mission. 
18:48 Embarrassment over coming home early due to Polycystic ovary syndrome
20:47 BYU Provo after the mission.
21:33 Meeting first husband (now ex). Checking all the boxes.
22:41 Start dating in February. Jen had no idea he was gay.
30:04 Married life. Starting a family, pregnant at 26. 
32:47 Baby girl is born. He helped her a ton. Jen working full time while he is in school.
33:14 Jen finds gay porn on home computer
36:29 Going to the bishop to confess. Not mentioning it was gay porn. Counseling with LDS family services.
37:58 Counselor determines her husband wasn't gay but had "dad issues"
38:44 He did church addiction recovery program. (Later, when they became missionaries for it, she participated.)
42:44 Cures such as scripture reading, going on dates again. It worked for a while. 
43:05 When son is born, they're happy. It was good for a year, but it deteriorates again
44:32 Jen thinks a new baby might fix the marriage. She ends up in the hospital alone after complications
50:04 Losing job, losing housing, because husband had an inappropriate relationship with a tenant.
51:57 Jen takes the children and moves to her parents, intending to divorce. Father is Stake Pres & advises her to give him one more chance.
54:37 New LDS counselor specializes in "same sex attraction" and also determines her husband "isn't gay."
55:49 Jen starting something for herself: cosmetology school. Finding out middle child requires surgery just as her ex was forced to resign his job, leaving them without health insurance
58:44 Jen files for divorce, lives with parents until she remarried. 
1:05:10 Study John did. Low quality of life ratings for gay members of the Church. 
1:12:48 Getting along great now as co-parents
1:14:27 Jens final thoughts 

ABOUT US:
Mormon Stories Podcast is the longest-running and most successful podcast in Mormonism - hosted by Dr. John Dehlin. At Mormon Stories we explore, celebrate, and challenge Mormon culture through in-depth stories told by members and former members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  We also occasionally interview scholars, authors, LDS apologists, and other professionals.  Our overall mission is to: 1) Facilitate informed consent amongst LDS Church members, investigators, and non-members regarding Mormon history, doctrine, and theology, 2) Support Mormons (and members of other high-demand religions) who are experiencing a religious faith crisis, and 3) Promote healing, growth and community for those who choose to leave the LDS Church or other high demand religions.

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