Look Who it Was Random video

10 Ways Borderline Mothers Wound Their Children - Parts 1 & 2

3,052 views · Published 27 January 2018 · 41:50 · Indexed 29 October 2026

Channel: Mark Smith Family Tree Life Coaching · 2018 · People & Blogs

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Mark Smith combines part 1 and part 2 of his popular video '10 Ways Borderline Mothers Deeply Wound Their Children'.  A lot of viewers missed the poem that ended up on part 2 due to technical difficulties.  So if you missed Mark's poem, written the night of his his mother's death, for the first time, this is the entire video. 

Mark E. Smith, MSW is the Founder and Director of Family Tree Life Coaching. He previously worked as a highly respected therapist and author in the Indianapolis area for 32+ years. He now practices as a Life and Relationship Coach. He offers coaching for individuals, couples, families, family businesses, executive leaders, pastors, and therapists. He has world class coaching expertise in Affair Recovery, Relationship Issues, Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome, Sexual Addiction, Abuse, Trauma, Complex PTSD, Anxiety, Mid-Life Issues, Shame and Abandonment Issues. If you need a safe, courageous, cutting, marriage-jolting healer, he is your guy. You can contact Mark Smith at [email protected] and 317-507-8866.

Mark Smith shares 10 ways his borderline mother wounded him deeply as he was growing up.  

Notes...

• Working On Shifting Out Of Victim Mentality – my relationship with my mother has been flying under the radar, the focus is too much on the narc who shattered us

1. Not Attaching – purple baby rage letter

2. Being Unstable – Chaos, AF moves, health, $, married and divorced dad 3 times + 2 other marriages, 7 kids/9 kids, jail, phone calls 

3. Being Incompetent/An Under Achiever – the summer of 1978

4. Parentifying – Lisa Marie, heroically cleaning the house, cock roaches

5. Threatening Abandonment – “I Quit”

6. Abandoning – best friends with the waitress in restaurants

7. Devaluing – shaming smirk

8. Raging – egg shells – ran to bring in the groceries, threw a plastic glass, sat on me, swagger

9. Being Self-Absorbed – bedroom/food

10. Attracting Other Cluster B’s – Uncle Bob, George

Funeral Poem

Our Mom

Our Mom was fun!  She was loud and colorful and very spontaneous.  She loved music, and parties, and people of any size, shape, color, or creed.  I don’t think that she would even want today to be a sad, dark occasion, but rather a celebration of her life.

And our Mom loved us.  She loved us as best she could.  She showed it with her hugs and kisses, with her interest in our lives, with her biscuits and gravy in the morning and with her famous stuffed green peppers and fudge at night.

Our Mom, if you can picture this was like Doris Day on steroids.  She had the unbridled joy of a child, the zest for living of an imp, and a singing voice that made you feel all warm and magical on the inside.  

And our Mom loved us.  She loved us as best she could.  She showed it by showering our kids with attention and love, by moving home from her beloved Florida, and by sacrificing for us and holding our home together when we were scared and needy little ones.

Our Mom loved to eat, she loved to laugh, she loved to spend, and she wasn’t the least bit shy about flashing that Irish temper from time to time.  You always knew exactly what she was feeling.  There was never a dull moment with Virginia Pat the Democrat.  

And she loved us.  Our Mama loved us.  And I am proud and happy to be her son.  She was remarkable, and unforgettable, and obnoxious, and wonderful all at the same time.  She was sunshine, and roses and a thunder cloud.

Our Mom left us a legacy.  Although much of her life was uneven, and out of control, and it was many times about robbing Peter to pay Paul, today she leaves a truly great family. We love her, and we are very much like her…

Because we too are loud, and sometimes edgy, and we too really don’t mind being the center of attention.  We play hard, we eat too much, we’re generally rather large and in charge, and we love our families as well.  We love them as best we can.  We’ve all learned to deal with life in our own different ways, and we are blessed, and we are very strong, and we owe so much of who we are to her.

Our Mom will be dearly missed.  However, her memory will live on deeply within us – dancing like a little girl on the screens of our minds.  Our Mom was special.  And she loved us.  She loved us as best she could.  

                                                                                                   mes – 8/7/97

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