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Overcoming Anger, Fear, Guilt, & Shame

3,995 views · Published 5 August 2016 · 9:15 · Indexed 10 November 2026

Channel: Damon Cart NLP · 2016 · People & Blogs

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Overcoming Anger, Fear, Guilt, & Shame
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What do these four unpleasant emotions have in common other than they're all unpleasant?

Why would I lump all of these together?

Because first of all there's nothing wrong with experiencing these feelings. It's how you respond to these feelings that makes all the difference.

If you didn't experience anger, fear, guilt, and shame, your life would be a disaster. At the same time, allowing them to persist will also destroy your wellbeing.

What these four feelings have in common is they are all alarms that alert you that something is not right. Every healthy, well adjusted human being experiences this. Sociopaths don't experience guilt or shame or they experience it to a much lesser degree than normal which is what makes them sociopaths.

The problem with these feelings is that they can feel paralyzing and that creates an even bigger problem; the do nothing response.

When we experience anger, fear, guilt, and shame and we do nothing to correct the problem or the situation, we carry the burden of these emotions creating an enormous amount of stress that sinks us deeper into these negative emotions.

If you are not someone who is suffering from the prolonged duration of one or more than one of these feelings you certainly know people who do. 

Prolonged anger turns to bitterness. Prolonged fear turns into paranoia. Prolonged guilt turns into self-hatred. And prolonged shame turns into unworthiness.

All this suffering, though very real to the person who suffers, is absolutely unnecessary. There is no value and no nobility in enduring this kind of suffering.

Let it go! It's that simple, yet simple doesn't mean easy. 

When someone has suffered from these feelings for a long time they often can't remember how they got where they are nor how to get out of it. This is where a good coach or a good therapist can help.

You're not meant to experience any of these feelings for more than the time it takes for them to wake you up to the awareness that something is wrong and needs to be fixed. Fix it and move on and let the emotion go.

These feelings persist when we do nothing to fix or resolve the issue. Many of us wait and it's the waiting that turns a normal unpleasant feeling into years, possibly a lifetime of unnecessary suffering.

Sometimes you will experience these feelings and it will be a situation you have no control over like when Victor Frankl found himself in a concentration camp, to use an extreme example. Most of us will never have to deal with anything nearly as severe.

In those situations you may not be able to control or fix the outside circumstances but you do have control with what's inside you. If you really can't do anything about the outside circumstances then let go of the anger, fear, shame, or guilt about it. If there's truly nothing you can do, these emotions won't serve you. Let them go.

Next time any of these feelings arise, first thank yourself for having an internal system that let's you know when something is not right and you need to resolve it. This is gratitude and it's the best place to start.

Then ask yourself what you can do to resolve or fix the situation being very clear and honest with yourself about what is in your control and what is not.

Now take action! And let the feeling go. It's done its job. Move on with your life and be happy and at piece with the best decision you could have possibly made under the circumstances knowing what you know.

For more on resolving suffering and coming to health, wholeness, and wellness, check out Core Transformation coming in September.
http://nlp-gym.com/events/core-transformation/

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Damon Cart
Coach and Trainer
NLP-Gym.com
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