help a first generation college student out
1,576 views · Published 22 October 2011 · 14:59 · Indexed 12 November 2026
Channel: muchlovefromky · 2011 · People & Blogs
Hey muchlove, I am a first generation college student...from the HOOD. Life hasn't been easy for me because I've been abused sexually, physically and emotionally throughout my life. I've lived with my grandmother until college. When I left for college in August, my mother was locked up in prison. When she was paroled to my grandma's house I told my grandma I didn't want my mother sleeping in my bed and she said she wouldn't let her. The reason(s) I didn't want my mother sleeping in my bed is because she is a drug addict who has admitted to prostitution. She is also sleeping with a man who is a prison rapist aka boodybandit and I know they don't use protection(my mom knows what he does in prison). Both my mother and her boyfriend are in and out of prison all the time for committing crimes. I know you can't get an std or aids from sharing the same bed with someone but nina the thought is just repulsive! And the fact that my mother is always douching or using pussy deodorant tells me something ain't right. I came home this week for fall break and found out my mother had been sleeping in my bed since she got out. I asked my brother(17yrs) to put a lock on my door so she couldn't get in there. After I paid him $25 I went downstairs. From the stairs I could hear him and my grandma talking. My grandma was mad because she wanted my mom to have a place to sleep. Then my brother says, "Don't worry, I have another key that she(me) don't know about." Then today, for example, there was no food in the house so I used the last of my work study money to buy every one some food. We get back to the house and my brother hops back in the car and says he's going to get him some more food, after he acted like he didn't have any money! I was pissed. I used my last to help them out but they don't appreciate it. Both my mom and my brother have money but they are real sneaky and conniving about it. They don't care about anyone but themselves. I can't be that way because I don't want my youngest brother(6 yrs) to starve but I don't want them using me either. And if I were to buy just something for my youngest brother my grandma would make me feel bad about. On top of feeling used, my grandma is still very emotionally abusive. One minute she can be sweet as pie and then the next she will call me every name in the book and make me feel less than a human. Nina, I really don't want to come back to this house on breaks and the summertime. It depresses me badly to be here. I see the other girls in my dorm sad about being away from home but I'm the exact opposite. Being around my family depresses me and makes me suicidal because I do things for them out of love but they just use me. They are also very negative and like to make me feel bad for no reason. I don't have anywhere else to go during breaks so what is your girl left to do?
