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Demi Lovato - Dealing With Adult Children & Estranged Parents by Y.G. Nyghtstorm

4,134 views · Published 27 June 2013 · 13:19 · Indexed 28 September 2026

Channel: YG NYGHTSTORM · 2013 · Nonprofits & Activism

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World famous entertainer Demi Lovato is dealing with a very tough issue. Unfortunately, her father recently passed away and it has devastated the singer. Apparently she has been estranged from her dad for several years and did not get a chance to patch things up with him before he died. She released a statement shortly after his passing.

"The last time I talked to him was two years ago. You try to have faith in someone, even if you're the last person that believes in him. But when someone lets you down after you've been the only one there for them so many times, you don't know what to do. I had to cut off all connections...it was hurting me too much." She later took to twitter "I LOVE you dad!" Demi Lovato

Demi is not alone because millions of people in this country are struggling to balance having a healthy relationship with their adult children and are hurt over being estranged from their parents. In some cases the relationships soured over time, but in other cases the relationship was never good from the beginning. 

Some of my students who approached me about this very sensitive issue stated that their parents threw Bible verses at them to make them feel guilty about not allowing their parents to control their lives. 

COLOSIANS 3:20 "Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord."

EPHESIANS 6:1-3 "1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth."

These Bible verses speak the truth and mean what they say. Unfortunately, a lot of people refuse to read past that point. As a matter of fact; within these two books immediately following those words of wisdom is the next passage...

COLOSIANS 3:21 "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged."

EPHESIANS 6:4 "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

Now this is paramount to a lot of the issues of estrangements. The Bible clearly states that there must be a balance in the relationship between parents and their children. Focusing too much on one aspect will lead to destruction and a string of broken relationships that may never heal. Some parents have even told their children to deny their spouse for the sake of their needs. One of my students was distraught dealing with this.

"I love my mom, but she tells me all the time that she must come first in my life and not my wife. She keeps throwing the Bible at me saying I'm supposed to honor her because she gave birth to me! I just want to do the right thing." 

I see this all the time and I have also experienced this. In my book ALL ACTION NO TALK, I talk about my issues with my parents. I am very transparent about the grudge I had with my father that abandoned me as a child and my very strained relationship I have with my mother. I was honest with my student about how deeply I was hurt when I was dealing with it. I calmed him down and gave him one single passage from the book of Matthew. Jesus himself broke this down very easily in plain language talking about this issue.

MATTHEW  19:4-6" 4 Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'  5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ?  6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

This single passage gives clarity to a situation the keeps people in the dark. I advised him to talk to his mother again as I did. Begin by telling her how much he appreciates everything that she has sacrificed for him over the years and how much he loves her. But I also told him to stand his ground and respectfully tell her that his FIRST responsibility is to his wife, children and household. That he is now an adult and will live his life according to his own path and NOT the path that she has designated for him. She raised him to be a strong, independent man...therefore; he will be one.

For more information about me and my book "ALL ACTION, NO TALK You Have the Power to Change Your Life despite Adversity" please visit NYGHTSTORM.COM and Twitter @ygnyghtstorm. Take care and God Bless.

Y.G. Nyghtstorm

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