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How To Get What You Want From People

195 views · Published 5 July 2016 · 9:31 · Indexed 29 October 2026

Channel: Damon Cart NLP · 2016 · People & Blogs

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You want a lot. You have big dreams, goals, and ambition. If only people would just go along with what you want you could have it all.

Sound familiar?

When it comes to sales, dating, relationships, parenting, nearly anything that involves other people you have to gain a certain amount of compliance from others in order to get what you want.

This is not manipulation. It's just a fact of life. The good news is you don't have to deceive or trick people to get them to help you. Manipulation (depending on how you define it) is a short term strategy that may give you the result you want initially but tends to blow up in your face later.

Here are some simple, ecological, and fun tips to help you get what you want from people.

1) Get clear about your intent
    What do you want from the person you're persuading? It sounds super simple but so often this is     overlooked. If you're not clear first in your mind about what you want you're not going to be able to     communicate it well. You wouldn't get in your car and start driving without knowing your destination. So     before you attempt to persuade someone first be able to say what you want in five words or less. Keep it     simple.

2) Go second position 
    Imagine being the person you're persuading. Imagine you are them (really become them) looking back at     you trying to persuade them. This is an excellent modeling technique to tap into what the other person is     thinking and feeling. It's also great for rapport building. This is really the place you want to come from when     you're matching and mirroring a person. Step into them and experience their world from their senses so that     you can understand what they want.

3) Always be willing to walk away
    Desperation arouses contempt in even the most sympathetic people. If you're coming from a scarcity     mindset people feel that and want to get away from it. Don't sell yourself on having to have whatever it is you     want from the person you're persuading. Know that there are always more options and possibilities to get     what you want and other people who are a better fit for your outcome. When you're not needy you're less     likely to come off as pushy and you will make people feel more comfortable if they feel like they can say no.     A funny thing happens when people feel like it's okay to say no, they often will say yes.

To summarize: Know what you want, pace the person you're persuading by getting familiar with them, their world and making them feel comfortable with you. Lead them gently with your intent and if they give you objections, reframe their objections while being willing to walk away.

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Damon Cart
Coach and Trainer
NLP-Gym.com
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https://www.facebook.com/NLPGymPractice/

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How To Get What You Want From People
https://youtu.be/zo_7WuKUX3Y

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