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Always asking, "Why am I exhausted" -- Watch this.

1,448 views · Published 23 June 2015 · 7:31 · Indexed 21 September 2026

Channel: Nichole | Wildly Alive · 2015 · Howto & Style

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Constantly feeling exhausted? Stop doing this.

Don’t you hate it people asked for your advice and they don’t take it? Or even worse, they do the opposite?

Well on last night’s Wildly Alive Weight Loss coaching call a client expressing this exact feeling about her mother.

Her mother kept complaining she was “feeling fat”, and as a good WAWL sister, she did what most of us would do – she shared some tools and tips she had learned through the program. She was knew it would help shift her mindset around her body.

(I mean its worked for her, why wouldn’t it work for her mother?!)

But it seemed like her advice was going in one ear and out the other. As she sat there angry because she wasn’t being heard, she quickly realized that her mother’s negativity towards her body had definitely played a role in perpetuating her own body issues. She was tired of spending all this energy trying to help her Mom and getting nowhere.

She asked me what she could do to get her Mom to listen so she would just stop complaining.

My answer was not what she wanted to hear. But, as a good coach, shooting it to you straight is part of my job.

“You need to stop giving your Mom advice. It’s not your job to make her happy.”
A few minutes later another client tunes in and expresses how she has been watching her best friend’s marriage crumble. She wants so badly to help out in any way she can; babysit, talk to her husband, give advice, suggest a good therapist… She has spent so much of her time worrying about her friend.

I lovingly told her, “You can be a good friend and be there to support her but you need to let it go, and stop trying to fix it. It’s not your job.”

I can fully relate to feeling the need to fix things or rescue people. As the oldest child, being raised in an unstable household, it was almost impossible for me to NOT take care of everyone. And I have ALWAYS had a hard time allowing people take care of me, let alone receiving help.

“Excuse me? You’re offering help? Are you saying I am incapable? No thanks!” — What I would be thinking when people offered to help (yikes!).

I used to…
Try to fix my family members who weren’t happy lost in addiction.
Tell Zac how he should switch careers.
Shell out endless amounts of relationship advice to my friends.
Spend hours on the phone with my entrepreneur friends showing them the ropes.
I never used to…
Call my friends and ask for advice. They’re too busy.
Tell Zac when I was feeling down or overwhelmed. I mean, who wants to have a moody girlfriend?!
Tell my family when I was sick or sad because I didn’t want them to worry.
Ask for help. Ever.
All this responsibility was literally weighing me down.
I was exhausted from being “on” all the time. I was depleted because I wasn’t seeking emotional support, and I was eating everything in sight to fill me back up.

It was getting me nowhere and I knew that something needed to change.

Embarking on this personal development journey and working with a lot of great coaches, truly opened my eyes to the impact of my behavior.

I started to understand what it was like to be responsible for my own baggage.

I learned that I was creating this exhausting dynamic because I needed to be needed.
(Hello, Wildly Alive Lover.)

As long as I was allowing this to happen, they would never seek the kind of help they actually needed. I was an enabler (which kind of stung).

I needed to take all this energy I was putting into everyone else and put it into ME. And when I did, whoa – my relationships and everyone around me blossomed.

I learned to lean on Zac without being fearful that I was annoying him. I began accepting help, and to my amazement my family and friends really enjoyed it. I started asking for more advice than I was shelling out.

I started realizing that the people I thought needed my help to be happy, in fact are successful, smart, driven and are totally fine without my input.

After a short time, I felt cared for and rejuvenated. I felt incredible. By focusing on myself, without even trying, I was giving those closest to me proof that they could do it too. Those who craved a similar lifestyle to mine started to follow (no push and shove needed).

Yeeehawwww,

Nichole

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Always asking, "Why am I exhausted" -- Watch this.

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