... And somehow there's a flicker
430 views · Published 30 March 2007 · 3:00 · Indexed 28 October 2026
Channel: johnofjordan · 2007 · People & Blogs
Can I be honest? My intention was just to write out the words to "It's A Heartache" for my blog entry tonight. It seems befittingly melancholy. It matches my mood and the vacant stare in my eyes. My life is a wild unruly storm. I am on the water, and I see a light. A shinning beacon! Now it could be a lighthouse, it could signify land... or it could be one of the Gods of olde baiting me, or a Siren beckoning me to my death. Not that that probably really even matters. I need to know. I need to know. Even if I die. I need to know. I have had as much of the storm as I can endure, and as much rum as I can stomach. And even if I am to die. It would be a poetic ending, and for that at least I could be grateful. I could see the object of my desire before I stop breathing. Even if it is a mirage. Even if it is terrible falsehold. Even if it is the genuine article that expresses a sentiment I'm unable to hear. There will be a flicker. There will be a moment. One final moment when I'm intoxicatingly happy and content. And then I will be no more. I wouldn't have it any other way. For what would be life without the only thing I have craved? If the universe decided to be less dramatic, I imagine I might have to prompt it with a contraption of my own device. For the heartache would be too much to savour. For the only consolation I would find would be a bottle of tainted liquour and the words to an almost forgotten song. How did it go again? It's.. a heartache... nothing but a heartache. Hits you when it's too late. Hits you when... *gasp* http://www.johnlacey.com
