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Living Your Own Life

4,946 views · Published 19 September 2017 · 3:01 · Indexed 31 October 2026

Channel: Marshall Goldsmith · 2017 · Education

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Most of us think of leaders as people of character. They aren’t people who live vicariously through others, but people who live their own lives and lead by example.

This Quiz Reveals Your True Leadership Potential!
[Edited from Lifestorming by Marshall Goldsmith and Alan Weiss]
Most of us think of leaders as people of character. They aren’t people who live vicariously through others, but people who live their own lives and lead by example.

What exactly do we mean by character? Character evolves; circumstances change; what worked in one situation is unsuccessful in another. We take our definition from Robespierre, who claimed that, “No man can step outside the shadow of his own character.” And we add to it that we believe the shadow changes because of our growth and the angle of the light.

Here are six elements of what we’ve come to call character:
Intelligence: The ability to apply critical thinking skills to problems and challenges. Separating how one thinks about something from what one feels about it. Aptitude for learning. The ability to quickly discern and apply patterns and identify distinctions.
Drive or assertiveness: The ability to identify the need for and to create urgency. A goal orientation. Moving through and around obstacles that block others. Finding ways to make something happen rather than creating excuses about why something can’t happen.

Happiness: As characterized in Dan Gilbert’s work at Harvard, happiness isn’t merely about the fortunate circumstances life brings us by chance, but our ability to create “synthetic” happiness (which we often dismiss negatively as rationalization). My getting fired was one of the best things that ever happened to me, just as a broken arm or a missed flight may be one of yours. 

Empathy: Part of strong character and a virtuous life is the ability to put yourself in others’ shoes and understand how they feel. The extension of kindness and the genuine regard for others is a wonderful character trait. This is why passive-aggressive behavior (“Your daughter was accepted at Michigan? Congratulations. Was that her back-up school?”) reflects weak character, because it is malicious and seeks to undermine others.

Reciprocity and friendship: The ability to give as well as take, to contribute as much as benefit, is a strong element of character. Introversion is not a negative, but the unwillingness to help others and to create friendships is. Healthy people maintain friendships, although they frequently change with our circumstances. 

Intimacy and trust: Strong character demands the ability to form loving bonds and to allow for vulnerability. The people we coach who make the most progress the fastest are those who are comfortable exposing their fears and weaknesses—being vulnerable in front of others. People incapable of creating strong, intimate bonds in their lives are affected by a key character flaw.

For more visit: www.marshallgoldsmith.com

Life is good!

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