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How to be happy in life: 3 Steps to be happier and healthier in life!

1,169 views · Published 15 June 2015 · 11:16 · Indexed 28 September 2026

Channel: Dr. Alan Christianson · 2015 · Education

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How to be happy in life: 3 Steps to be happier and healthier in life!
http://drchristianson.com/blog

Dr. Alan Christianson here. This is going to be fun. I want to talk about what makes you happy. We have these big, over-arching goals that are oftentimes subconscious. These goals tie into the fact our genes and brains conspired through thousands of generations to make us good, survival machines. Our goals are to survive, not get killed, keep ourselves fed, and pass on our lineage. A big goal is also being connected—being in a group. Oddly enough, many have argued being secure in a community may be one of the biggest, hidden goals we have. Why is this relevant?

We think our ancestors had stability in tribes of maybe 20-50 in numbers. If you had a group that size, you could help support each other. You could take turns gathering food, share hunting duties and help out with the kids. You could also protect yourself against other tribes that wanted your land.

Oftentimes, we have subgoals that are set up to meet that overriding goal. Subgoals may be things like: We want to lose weight. We want to be successful. We want to have certain things work out well. We want to meet these goals, too, but they are subgoals of a bigger goal, which is being secure and a stable member of the group. Oftentimes, we have happiness as one of our subgoals. We want to be happy. The thing that really drives our wanting to be happy is that sense of security.

We have been taught by our culture the subgoals that give us happiness are material rewards. In different contexts, material things do create happiness. For example, if you go to developing countries, look at those who have some basic means and those who do not. Those who have some things are happier. They have more options. They have more security. What if you look within developed countries? When you look at groups who have their needs met, some may have different brands of cars or clothes and different vacations. Regardless, people are really not fighting for their survival needs. So, within those worlds, material acquisition no longer predicts happiness.

What can shift your mood in the right direction? There has been a lot of research on this. There are differing views, but more commonly, there are three, actionable steps you can do to make yourself happier. There are other ideas about how to structure your life, create flow, and be in the best environment to be more productive. These are also valid, but in terms of short-term strategies to gain your happiness, here are the top three.

The first is very intuitive. It is random acts of kindness. It is almost cliché to hear these words, but it is legit. It actually makes a really big difference. It’s more effective when you do not get any direct feedback from the recipient. You can do things like pay for someone’s Starbucks in line (if you go to places like that). You can give random gifts, or do little, unexpected things to help people around you. They can be done anonymously and unreciprocated. Let someone get in your line of traffic when you would not otherwise. You can totally shift your mental state by getting outside your concerns and using your brain to predict what someone else's concerns and needs are, and then, meet those preemptively. This is so very powerful and very easy. I know it sounds trite and cheesy, but it works.

So, next time you’re really upset, buy a stranger a treat, let someone cut in front of you in traffic, crank on the tunes and move your body a little more. Remember you’re going to die. Remember what matters to you. Think about your loved ones and how you want to make a difference. You’ll pull yourself out of being upset. These three steps are not what you expect but very powerful.

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