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The Men Who Stare At Goats -- Review #JPMN

3,165 views · Published 5 March 2012 · 3:11 · Indexed 23 September 2026

Channel: Movie Night · 2012 · Film & Animation

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The Men Who Stare At Goats (2009) -- 3/10.

Full episodes of Movie Night, every Friday night at: http://bit.ly/JogJPMN

~~ Movie Night ~~
This "Quick Review" is an excerpt from a full episode. Incorporating viewer comments and tweets, your host and film critic Jonathan Paula reviews everything from opening day releases, recent DVDs, and classics from years past. Along with your votes, these films are scored on the "Rate-O-Matic" for a 1-10 ranking. A "Five Word Summary" quickly encapsulates each review while "Factor Facts" highlight the the best and worst features of a movie in each of ten key categories. New episodes every Friday (November through May) on the JPizzle1122 channel. 

Born in February 1986, Jonathan Paula is a professional YouTuber and creator of the hit web series, "Is It A Good Idea To Microwave This?". In April 2006 he founded Jogwheel Productions, a new media production company that specializes in web video. He has been reviewing films since 2003, and professionally since 2009. Jon graduated from Emerson College in 2008 with a degree in Television Production / Radio Broadcasting. He currently lives in Rockingham, NH with his wife Rebecca.

~~ Links ~~
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~~ Technical ~~
Created by ------ Jonathan Paula
Camera ---------- Panasonic DVX-100b
Microphone ----- Sennheiser ME 66
Software --------- Adobe Premiere Pro CS5
Computer ------- http://bit.ly/JAV010

• Jogwheel Productions © 2009 •

~~ Review Script ~~
Released last fall as a "comedy" film, Goats, starring George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Kevin Spacey, and Jeff Bridges grossed nearly 50-million dollars, despite being a total waste of everyone's time. The film is laughably supposed to be based on true-events, but there isn't a single moment in this movie where the audience is questioning how any of this truly existed. The Men Who Stare At Goats is the story of Bob Wilton, played by McGregor providing his best attempt at an American accent, a reporter from Michigan who decides to fly to Iraq to get some excitement out of his life. Once there, he bumps into Lyn Cassady, portrayed by George Clooney - a former solider of the secret "New Earth Army" - a branch of the American armed forces that apparently existed, and apparently used telepathy and other made-up crap to apparently fight bad guys in war. Jeff Bridges and Kevin Spacey play fellow soldiers in this secret army... and neither delivers a memorable or capable performance, especially disappointing given their Best-Actor status in the industry. The absurd and seemingly nonsensical storyline aside, Goats is listed as a comedy movie. I laughed all of two times in this 94-minute suck-fest. Sure, some of the writing is sharp, and the movie keeps you interested, but only in the same way that the TV show "Lost" keeps you interested - by constantly giving you more and more questions, without ever explaining why you should give a damn. This movie features a list of extraordinary A-listers, their potentials absolutely wasted in a film that provides them with no purpose or consequence for their actions. Besides suffering from mindless plot progression, and un-motivated characters, The Men Who Stare At Goats features zero antagonists or any real climax in the entire film. At first, it seems like a promising and intriguing film that keeps you guessing... unfortunately the film never turns the corner, leaving you still guessing why any of this was worth your time. Throw in some hackneyed use of Boston's "More Than A Feeling" in the soundtrack, and you've got what amounts to a bizarre and floundering film that only serves as a highly fictionalized account of some secret army stuff that doesn't sound realistic to begin with. This film wasn't all garbage though, with individual scenes drawing your attention, and keeping you entertained, if occasionally for the wrong reasons. As a whole however, this movie never finds its footing nor does it make any god-damn sense. 
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