Look Who it Was Random video

TW: A Comprehensive Update Pt 2 - Patrick Opens Up (Mk Survivor w/Pf-DID - More Info In Description)

4,069 views · Published 12 December 2018 · 13:25 · Indexed 26 September 2026

Channel: Dylan Groves · 2018 · People & Blogs

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Hi everyone, this is Katy and in this video recorded last night, some parts of Patrick's subsystem come out and share more about themselves.

This follows naturally from our last video, which can be found here: 

TW: A Comprehensive Update Pt 1 - Integration, Deprogramming, Healing From Agoraphobia, Travel Plans - https://youtu.be/i6Q-i8wwBfU

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We don't feel able to write our usual in-depth trigger warning at the moment, so we are going to give a more general one (which we recognize is still pretty detailed nonetheless):

In this video, we start out as Katy, switch mostly into Patrick, microswitch between parts of Patrick's subsystem and then switch partially back into Katy again. There were microswitches within Katy's subsystem also, but they were less concrete.

Throughout the video, background noise can be heard, mostly the sound of cars driving by. I don't recall if there were any suddden noises, but there may have been some. 

And a lot of the content itself may be triggering for some survivors of trauma, particularly mind control. We mentioned several common triggers for survivors of mc (incl. in the very beginning) and talked in some depth about having polyfragmented dissociative identity disorder (incl. Patrick's inner world). We talked about healing from childhood sexual abuse in order to deprogram ourselves (which is what Patrick talked about after giving a trigger warning in the video itself) and liking violent/traumatic content in literature.

There may be more things that I should put in this warning that I have forgotten about/dissociated from, so I recommend watching this video with extra caution if you choose to at all.

I just remembered that I wanted to acknowledge the potentially triggering nature of the color of the light on my face and some of the shadows that it cast. We would have preferred to have used different lighting, but it was the best we could do at the time.

I also want to give warnings that at around 8:19, we looked in a certain direction three times within a few seconds (I think we looked around at other times as well, but this instance may be particularly triggering for some people) and at around 8:50, we paused and then said a word that may be particularly triggering also. 

The reason for this was that Patrick was trying to think of a less triggering word for what he wanted to say, but couldn't, so after a pause, he went ahead and said the word anyway. This was not out of carelessness, he was just dissociated, unused to making videos and wanted to finish the video and leave where we were as quickly as possible. His subsystem feared that stopping the video there would have prolonged our time outside more than they could handle.

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We recognize that Katy said she'd say what she didn't get a chance to say in this video in this description. She is currently unable to do that, as she is too busy trying to cope with a new trauma that occurred today. This one was not, to our knowledge, related to Mk Ultra, but was still painful nonetheless and, due to the nature of it, will be ongoing for the indefinite future. 

Once she adjusts more, she will hopefully be able to update this description, but for now, we're just going to add the links about polyfragmentation that we mentioned in the video and end this here. (We know that we have a few other descriptions to update also, but we will prioritize this one above most of the rest.)

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The article Katy wanted to share about polyfragmentation can be found here:

What Is Polyfragmented Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)? - https://faithallen.wordpress.com/2009/01/19/what-is-polyfragmented-dissociative-identity-disorder-did/

There are actually a few more related articles, all from the same blog, that she has realized she wants to share as well: 

Multiple Systems for People with Polyfragmented Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) - https://faithallen.wordpress.com/2009/01/20/multiple-systems-for-people-with-polyfragmented-dissociative-identity-disorder-did/

How Multiple Systems for People with Polyfragmented Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) Work - https://faithallen.wordpress.com/2009/01/21/how-multiple-systems-for-people-with-polyfragmented-dissociative-identity-disorder-did-work/

How to Heal from Polyfragmented Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) - https://faithallen.wordpress.com/2009/01/22/how-to-heal-from-polyfragmented-dissociative-identity-disorder-did/

Pacing your Healing from Polyfragmented Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) - https://faithallen.wordpress.com/2009/01/23/pacing-your-healing-from-polyfragmented-dissociative-identity-disorder-did/

And lastly, our testimonies about the specific form of polyfragmentation called exponential fragmentation that we have experienced can be found here:  

Exponential Fragmentation In Mk/DID - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLtLfUhTHFspKDkBq9J2p5PdhJeUDqYCoh

~ Katy & co.

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Update about our name change: https://youtu.be/RgTi07WrOH4

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