Look Who it Was Random video

TW: A Comprehensive Update Pt 1 - Integration, Deprogramming, Healing From Agoraphobia, Travel Plans

3,646 views · Published 6 December 2018 · 12:38 · Indexed 28 October 2026

Channel: Dylan Groves · 2018 · People & Blogs

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Hi everyone, we are a polyfragmented multiple system that is deprogramming from Mk Ultra and in this video, we give part one of a comprehensive update about how we're doing for you all. We know some of you have been worried about us since our last video and we hope that you will find this one reassuring.

Some potentially triggering topics mentioned include: the background noise of cars driving by, my partner's medical issues and treatment*, being triggered by my environment in the video, integration from polyfragmented dissociative identities, defining and healing from agoraphobia, struggling to feel safe in our apartment, trauma processing and deprogramming from Monarch/Mk Ultra (incl. doing it in our sleep and working with delta subsystems to deprogram and rebuild our abilities to defend ourselves), artificial (implanted) dreams/technological programming, gender identity and multi-gendered dissociative parts, our Healthy Coping Challenge series, having multiple alters of the same name, directed energy weapons (incl. the attack described in our last video), our plans to travel homeless with our partner, the traumatic nature of moving for our partner and us, the names of a couple of seasons, mind control to prevent us from running away as a child, roadside attractions/curiosities/oddities, being in rurual areas (in talking about this, I accidentally used a commonly triggering phrase for survivors of mc)

*We did not go into details about it, but want to be clear that his condition is not life-threatening as long as he takes care of himself around it, which he has for over two years. If he were to appear to die or be in any kind of crisis because of it, I would suspect that he had been victimized by members of the perpetrator network and would hope that you all would too.

There was a lot of background noise throughout the video, but we'd like to specifically note that a car horn went off four times at about 9:42 and what sounds to us like a very triggering animal noise can be heard around 10:49.

We'd also like to acknowledge that we looked around a lot during the video because we were hypervigilant about the possibility of being overheard and/or harmed by unsafe people. We did our best to stay focused on the screen of our phone, but felt the need to scan our environment for our safety.

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tw: dissociative viewing/delta




We just realized that this is an oddly positive thing. This means that we were not so dissociated while recording that we simply put our trust in dissociative viewers to scan our environment for us. We are saddened by how afraid we were, but excited to see that we have been able to let go of some of the dissociative viewing in the subsystems we were in and take on the function of scanning our surroundings ourselves.

Like we said in this video, we want to let go of all of our delta programming while still maintaining the ability to protect ourselves. It is nice to see our system making so much progress.

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tw: structural dissociation and having multiple parts of the same name




In reviewing this video, we realized that the Patrick who was speaking was only aware of that one other video in which a Patrick came out, but there was at least one more as well. We're honestly not sure how many Patricks have come out and spoken on this channel, but this is still the first time this particular one has. 

I know they didn't say much, but they could definitely benefit from some support, so if you feel safe to and want to, it'd mean a lot if you left some words of encouragement for them. I'm hoping they'll be able to maintain the courage it'll take for them to continue speaking out and share more of their perspective as time goes on.

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As of 12/11/18, part two of this video can be found here: 

TW: A Comprehensive Update Pt 2 - Patrick Opens Up (Mk Survivor w/Pf-DID - More Info In Description) - https://youtu.be/CfR_p1GakFU

~ Kayvon & co.

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Update (11/24/19): In order to honor ourselves and our non-binary gender, we are going back to our former front name Dylan - https://youtu.be/RgTi07WrOH4

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