Look Who it Was Random video

TW: Healthy Coping - Physical Hygiene (Mk Survivor w/Polyfragmented DID)

4,315 views · Published 15 November 2018 · 15:51 · Indexed 26 September 2026

Channel: Dylan Groves · 2018 · People & Blogs

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Hi everyone, this is another Healthy Coping video in which we outline some things we are doing to cope with our trauma right now. In this video, we talk about physical hygiene/self-care.

Some potentially triggering topics mentioned include: background noise, being cold, my jacket, structural dissociation, various hygiene practices, deprogramming, accessing and targeting (ra/mc), depression and grief, twelve-step recovery for survivors of child abuse, stored trauma and anger, mindfulness, skin irritation, poverty, prayer, balancing masculine and feminine elements, gender dysphoria

At 6:14, a small bug flew past our face. We apologized for it afterwards, but unfortunately, during our apology, used a word to describe its motion that may be very triggering for some mc survivors.

At 7:01, a car horn went off twice, which we also apologized for. Around the same time, a sound of what we initially thought was a barking dog can be heard, but we weren't sure exactly what it was. We got triggered and said "breathing, collecting myself" as a way to acknowledge that we were grounding and further ground ourselves. We then acknowledged the coldness/pain in our hands and accidentally said a potentially triggering phrase related to concluding our video.

At 12:14, the sound of a child's voice can be heard in the background. This sound persisted throughout the rest of the video.

And at 15:14 (this is a suprisingly large number of fourteens here), the child mentioned above yelled and we felt too triggered to go on, so we ended the video a few seconds later.

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We'd like to note that at 8:31, when the alter who was speaking said they glitched due to being overwhelmed by background noise, they meant that they were overwhelmed by a flashback of the noise that had occurred a minute or so before. It seems that the flashback was given to them by another part of our system who was trying to alert them to the potential threat posed by the noise.

We'd also like to note that we micro-switched throughout this video, but there was a visible shift in our awareness around 10 minutes. 

At 9:58, the alter who was speaking said that they wanted to say that showering and brushing our teeth are not the only hygiene things that they do. They were not aware at the time that earlier in the video, we had mentioned washing our face. This also explains why at 13:46, an alter stated that we washed our face as if we had not mentioned it in the video before. 

And at 15:21, we said that we didn't know if what we had said would be helpful for anyone and that it would be awesome if people let us know in the comments what, if anything, they found helpful about it. We said that we would feel self-conscious about posting this because we'd worry that we had just "rambled on about [our] basic hygiene practices without offering anything constructive." We now realize that the alter from which we were speaking was only aware of parts of the last five minutes of this video. With increased awareness, we actually feel good about what we said.

~ Katy & co.

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Update (11/30/19): In order to honor ourselves and our non-binary gender, we are going back to our former front name Dylan - https://youtu.be/RgTi07WrOH4

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